Cushions over easy

I learned that there are 2 ways to cook an egg in the world of patio cushioning...

Over Easy

and over and over and over again the Hard Way

Turns out that what I considered my best shot at doing it like the "professionals," you know sewing on fancy snaps to neatly close the cover over the existing cushion, was really me sewing my patio cushions the hard way that no one does anymore. Most certainly not the "professionals."

My dose of humble pie came while standing in line at a wholesale fabric store trying to entertain my fellow line loungers with a slightly over-dramatized story describing the pains of patio cushion sewing.

Do you ever do that? Pretend to be slightly more bothered by something just to fit in with the rest of the complainers?

I thought the endless time I spent meticulously lining up my snaps to make a tight closure was par for the course... I honestly didn't mind the painstaking process of sewing my cushions at that point (mostly because I didn't know any better), but everyone else in line seemed to be frustrated with part of their projects and that's all I had to relate with, so understandably (right?), I acted upset too.

It turns out I must have been totally outing myself as the annoying sister trying too hard to fit in with the more experienced and undoubtedly cooler older sister and her friends, as minutes into my over-exaggerated rant a little old lady turns to me from the line over and said,

"Are you talking about just sewing patio cushion covers, Hun?"

just sewing...

Hun...

Uh oh, two clear verbal signs that's I'm about to be informed of something apparently everybody knows... except me.

Wouldn't you know it... this woman was, by actual profession, a tailor and seamstress. Her number one profit maker and highest turn over item were custom ordered patio cushions. Go figure. I should consider my surroundings in a WHOLESALE fabric store before deciding how to best "relate" to the other shoppers.

I swallowed my pride and asked her how long it took her to do each cushion.

1 hour.

1 HOUR!

I almost hired her on the spot. She must have been a little sister at some point, which apparently endeared me to her and my naivety in the sewing world. She immediately slipped out of her place just to stand next to me and give me a bunch of tips on how to cut corners (literally). What a sweet heart! I think of her as my guardian angel of sewing, swooping in to save me from further embarrassment and time wasting.

Do you want to know her most secret tip??

Here it is...

DENTAL FLOSS!!

I have tons of that lying around! Not only was it easier than the heavy weight, outdoor fabric thread it was free.

Instead of going through all the trouble matching up all the corners perfectly, hemming and aligning all the edges, she told me that all you really need to do is slip stitch the final edge with dental floss. Can you believe it?

And honestly, the Over Easy (with dental floss) actually does look more professional than my fancy schmancy removable cushion covers. Plus, she so cleverly pointed out that the floss covers were removable since it was so inexpensive and quick to sew them back up if you needed to.

The other perk- since you really can't see the floss stitching unless you intentionally pull back the flap (like I did in this picture), it doesn't matter how neat you are as long as it's sewn tight!

Clearly, I'm no pro and did not get down to 1 hour,
but by the last cushion I was impressively close to that 1 1/2 hour mark...

Many thanks to the quiet old lady, who in so many was saved me by whispering hush.